I love listening to this on repeat in the car when I’m in the mood for “Asian” music.
D.I.Y. teabags
:) i love it. i wonder if putting in spice is actually that great though.. hmm.
Posted October 7, 2011 at 10:28am
listening to Belle and Sebastian in my car with the windows opened: I am back.
Coming back to America after a year abroad ROUND 2 isn’t too bad.
There were several culture shocks here and there but they’re all the type where you just shrug your shoulders and say, “eh.” Things like how everything in American is huge, food is super greasy, people dress a lot more casually, friendly but superficial conversations with strangers, relearning American mannerisms and speaking English for the majority of the day. Yes.
I guess the only difference this time is that I’m not a student anymore. On top of that I am very unemployed. But hey, I knew this was going to happen so I just have to keep looking right?
People keep asking me questions along the lines of: how was STINT?? and what are you doing now/after STINT?
Well, STINT was _____ (I can give you the 1 line, 3 minutes, or 3 hour answer depending on the situation. I would love to share.)
I am now: readjusting/figuring out what to do next/ confused/ lost career direction-wise/ exploring possibilities/ etc. In short, I don’t know. But I dare not say this in real life because it’s a bit uncomfortable. So: I am figuring things out :)
I don’t really miss Osaka as much as I did 3 years ago after coming back from studying abroad, probably because it’s become like a 2nd home. It’s just another reality I can adjust to another time, if that makes sense. I miss the people, but then there’s all of this technological craziness that makes keeping in touch a whole lot easier (though less “romantic” if that make sense). I do miss it in some ways, but this was already a given so I just have to move on.
Maybe I’m just out of touch with my emotions post-STINT. Probably not a good thing, but I’ll deal with that another time.
I am excited for what is to come for Osaka CCC though. I may be gone, but the ministry will keep on going. He will continue to keep working and moving. :) I hope I don’t become too detached from it.
The verse/promise God gave me prior to coming back to the states: Psalm 16:8.
It is getting a bit lonely though. Having 3-4 roommates for a whole year and then moving back home is a huge change in environment. I miss my roommates dearly.
Who am I?
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,
And calm the storm in me.
Deuteronomy 8:2-3
2 Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. 3 He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your ancestors had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD.
Amen.
Posted July 30, 2011 at 8:11am
david.
As I read through Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1Samuel, 2Samuel these past 2 days during STINT retreat, David’s character really stuck out to me. (Maybe because he was the last character I read about…)
Though I fall often, and will continue to fall as long as I am living in my flesh
I want to be able to come before God as I am. To quickly confess when I have sinned against the Lord. To trust God even though I lack in so many ways. To trust that God is just and I don’t have to seek revenge on my own. To seek after the Lord’s heart and not be swayed by the things I see and feel.
I want to let myself be known by the Father. Surrender my idols. Treasure Christ.
Surrender. Obey. Repent. Love. Seek. Listen. Ask.
psalm 77.
1 I cried out to God for help;
I cried out to God to hear me.
2 When I was in distress, I sought the Lord;
at night I stretched out untiring hands,
and I would not be comforted.
3 I remembered you, God, and I groaned;
I meditated, and my spirit grew faint.[b]
4 You kept my eyes from closing;
I was too troubled to speak.
5 I thought about the former days,
the years of long ago;
6 I remembered my songs in the night.
My heart meditated and my spirit asked:
7 “Will the Lord reject forever?
Will he never show his favor again?
8 Has his unfailing love vanished forever?
Has his promise failed for all time?
9 Has God forgotten to be merciful?
Has he in anger withheld his compassion?”
10Then I thought, “To this I will appeal:
the years when the Most High stretched out his right hand.
11 I will remember the deeds of the LORD;
yes, I will remember your miracles of long ago.
12 I will consider all your works
and meditate on all your mighty deeds.”
13 Your ways, God, are holy.
What god is as great as our God?
14 You are the God who performs miracles;
you display your power among the peoples.
15 With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.
16 The waters saw you, God,
the waters saw you and writhed;
the very depths were convulsed.
17 The clouds poured down water,
the heavens resounded with thunder;
your arrows flashed back and forth.
18 Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,
your lightning lit up the world;
the earth trembled and quaked.
19 Your path led through the sea,
your way through the mighty waters,
though your footprints were not seen.
20 You led your people like a flock
by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
——-
Faith
Choosing to look to Him and trust in what is unseen even if everything in my being screams no.
I lack faith.
I do not know what it means to be selfless.
To me, Your existence and Your goodness depends on my state of mind, the situations I’m in, what I see with my physical eyes.
Lord, open my eyes. Help me to see what is true.
Posted July 21, 2011 at 9:00am
Lord
You have brought me this far
You have carried me through every storm
Once again I beg of you: please carry me.
I am too weary to walk and I don’t even understand my own thoughts anymore.
If your light outshines the darkness, please shed Your light on me.
If Your peace transcends all understanding, please teach me again how to come before You on my knees.
Please remind me that I will still have You and that’s all I need after throwing away my pride and my selfish desires.
You are the God of love.. please remind me of Your love for me that was shown on the cross.
Memories and words written down on paper are not enough.
I need to hear from You. I need You.
Please teach me what it means to die to myself without hating myself.
Posted July 14, 2011 at 10:55am
finishing strong
My personal ministry here in Osaka is ending soon (officially) though I leave on August 31st.
Next week is my last week of campus. Hooray… kind of. It’s just hot, humid, and unbearable. But the students are great, don’t get me wrong. :P
Finished both “LA Friends Night” outreach parties. Whew! Finally!
It’s time to start wrapping things up for myself too.
BUT
it’s times like these that Satan tries to mess with my mind. All I can feel is anger and bitterness towards… well, everything. This has been happening on a weekly basis now. I can’t take this anymore!!! Why am I so psycho???
How did this happen? Why is this happening now??? Why is everything falling apart after such a huge improvement in my relationships here and ministry?
All I can think about is: X more days till I get out of this place.
-> HOW did I start feeling this way? I wasn’t homesick at all these past few months but all of sudden all I can think about is leaving.
Dang this just proves that I was right in my previous post.. I forget all the good things God has shown me here in Osaka. It’s kind of incredible lol.
I have the memory capacity of a goldfish.
